


Dream A Little Dream of Me

by mylifeiskara



Series: Chopped Fics [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, New Year's Eve, No Bombs Destroying Earth!, Past Emori/John Murphy - Freeform, Protective John Murphy (The 100) - Character, Season/Series 05, spacekru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28299702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylifeiskara/pseuds/mylifeiskara
Summary: It was just Murphy's luck that right as he was starting to enjoy Earth, he had to leave. But he'd rather that than succumb to a fiery death wave. He and the other residents of the Ring remembered Clarke every year during their New Year's Eve celebration. But even when they weren't celebrating Clarke, Murphy couldn't seem to get her off his mind. He wished his brain would stop playing tricks on him by making him think she was alive. Clarke was dead. Wasn't she?
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/John Murphy
Series: Chopped Fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1843351
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28
Collections: TROPED: Holiday Trope Exchange 2.0





	Dream A Little Dream of Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my fic for the Chopped: Holiday Trope Exchange. This is my first full Clurphy fic, and I had a lot of fun with it. My assigned tropes are below:
> 
> 1) One character has a child  
> 2) Protectiveness  
> 3) Only one bed  
> 4) Soulmates
> 
> To my giftee: I have to say I was briefly thrown by the "prefers canonverse" note, but I'm excited with what I came up with so much so that I got a little carried away, so enjoy this somewhat long story. I hope you like it! And thank you for enabling me to create a world in which McCreary does not set off those bombs and they all get to stay on Earth.
> 
> **Just a quick content warning note for the very beginning, this does include the moment where Clarke contemplates suicide in the desert.

_Clarke wandered through the desert, all hope seemingly lost. She was tired, thirsty, and hungry, and she wanted nothing more than for this to be over. The bird she was following taunted her, teased her for even daring to take this treacherous path. It was her own mistake and now her own funeral. She had had enough._

_“I’M DONE! DO YOU HEAR ME?” she screamed from the ground. “I’ve lost everything! I lost my friends, my father, my mother! I’ve got nothing left!”_

_A sob wracked through Clarke’s body as she pulled the gun from its holster on her leg and held it to her head. She couldn’t do it anymore. Enough was enough._

Murphy gasped, sitting upright in bed as he jolted awake. He took a moment to breathe and take in his surroundings. Emori was still sound asleep next to him. He was in their room on the Ring. Even after 58 days, it was still taking some getting used to. He sighed before pulling himself out of bed and going for a walk.

Even though Murphy grew up in space, being on the Ring felt so foreign. He had gotten used to the quiet of Earth, how there was no steady electrical hum underneath everything. No wonder he hadn’t been sleeping well. But that didn’t explain this dream that didn’t feel completely like his own.

Murphy didn’t get up with any destination in mind, but he somehow ended up by the bay window overlooking Earth. After almost two months, it didn’t look as fiery red as when they first arrived, more barren and grey. He stared out the window, mourning for a planet he was just getting to know. It was just his shitty luck that something like this would happen, especially right when things might have looked up for him.

As he looked down at Earth, he thought about Clarke, thought about how she had saved them all. He had always thought she was a little selfish, which he realized was a stupid thing to say considering how Murphy prided himself on his own selfishness. But Clarke was the golden child. Always wanted, always looked after and cared for. Murphy’s selfishness was a self-preservation tactic. Clarke was selfish and thought her way was right. But maybe he’d been wrong, after the way she died to save them all. Maybe he was feeling guilty for being quick to judge her. He wasn’t sure. He just wanted something to explain this dream he’d had. And if Clarke was dead, why had she felt so alive?

When Murphy dreamt of Clarke it was like he could feel her pain, as if he was experiencing it too. How could he experience the pain of someone who was dead? He wasn’t sure how to answer any of the questions swirling through his brain, and frankly, he didn’t want to deal with them. There was enough going on in his mind without adding weird dreams about Clarke into the mix. He took some time to calm down, willing himself to stop thinking about the dream, before he made his way back to his room. He could probably just chalk it up to stress.

There wasn’t much to do on the Ring. When Murphy wasn’t helping Monty with his algae farm, which honestly, Monty should be thankful he was getting any help from Murphy at all after accidentally poisoning him, he explored the ship, rooting through old desks and files to see what he could find. It was a pastime of all the residents of the Ring. They’d bring their best findings back to the group. The best find of Year 1 was by far when Raven and Monty were able to get an old television and DVD player working. It was impressive, them figuring out relics from before any of them were even born. But it came in handy, because a lot of the time, they’d find different movies to watch together.

It was through the movies that they decided to celebrate New Year’s Eve. Harper picked _When Harry Met Sally_ , and though it was the last thing that Murphy wanted to sit through based on the premise, he begrudgingly admitted once it was over that he enjoyed it.

“People before the apocalypse had so much fun with holidays,” Harper mused as the credits rolled.

“People before the apocalypse actually had things to celebrate,” Murphy quipped.

“I’d say we have something to celebrate. We’re all alive, aren’t we?”

Everyone tensed, instinctively looking to Bellamy. He’d been on edge since they arrived, and nobody was sure when he’d ever stop carrying the guilt of leaving Clarke behind.

Eventually Bellamy nodded. “We are. And I think you’re right, Harper. That is reason to celebrate.”

Raven frowned. “What do you mean?”

“We should do this New Year’s Eve thing. I know there’s not much to look forward to up here, but we can use it as a way to count down until we can get back.”

“And as a tribute to Clarke,” Harper added. “For giving us a new beginning.”

Bellamy smiled, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Yeah.”

After that, planning got under way, which really meant it was an excuse to watch all the New Year’s Eve related content they could find so that they could learn more about what people did. There was a lot of stock put on kissing your significant other at midnight. It seemed dumb to Murphy, but he wasn’t going to complain about an excuse to kiss Emori.

The day of their celebration finally rolled around. Harper and Echo tried to decorate as best they could, but there was only so much that could be done for the drab and dreary interior of the ship. Everyone gathered by the window overlooking Earth. Monty thankfully didn’t have to resort to attempting to make alcohol out of algae, because Emori found a bottle in a secluded corner of the ship. She went around pouring everyone a glass as Bellamy began a speech. To be honest, Murphy tuned most of it out, but he tuned back in at the mention of Clarke.

“I try not to dwell too much on what things would be like if Clarke were here,” Bellamy said. “But it’s been nice to think about her today and everything she did for us. We wouldn’t be able to celebrate this new year if not for her. So let’s all raise a glass. To Clarke.”

“To Clarke,” everyone echoed. Murphy sipped his vodka, clearing his throat as it went down. He stared out the window, looking to Earth even though he knew Clarke wasn’t there. At least, he was pretty sure she wasn’t there. He’d come to the conclusion that his dream had just been his overactive and sad brain at work.

He was broken out of his trance by Harper starting the countdown. She seemed to be the only one who was excited about this particular tradition, but they all seemed to be clinging onto the little things. That’s the only way they were going to get through the next five years.

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6…”

Everyone joined in for the last five seconds.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!”

Emori put a hand on Murphy’s arm and he turned to face her. He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her lips, as was tradition apparently. When he pulled away, he noted the small smile on her face, but he knew she could sense something was off. He wished he wanted to talk about it with her. He should be able to, but he didn’t think he’d be able to find the words.

There was no way to replicate fireworks, so they settled for throwing shredded paper into the air instead. If they didn’t think about it too hard, it was snow, though Emori and Echo had both actually seen snow before, so they weren’t as impressed. Murphy looked on as Harper, Monty, and Raven started a “snow” fight with the paper. Emori quickly joined in, her smile growing brighter by the second. Echo frowned at the sight, opting to stand in the corner. Bellamy did the same, though he chuckled to himself at everyone having fun.

Murphy should be feeling happy, excited at the new year and that he was actually able to celebrate it. Against all odds, he escaped death once again. Yet, an overwhelming sadness consumed him, one that he couldn’t completely figure out. Though his friends were still content to keep partying, he made his way back to his room. Maybe he’d feel better if he just went to sleep.

_Clarke dropped another stack of firewood onto the pile. A small girl of about six trailed behind her, her eyes drooping with sleep._

_“Tel op ai a sontaim, Clarke,” the little girl said._

_Clarke turned to her, a smile on her face as she ruffled the girl’s hair. “You want a story?”_

_The girl nodded and Clarke took her hand before leading the way back inside._

_“Let’s go inside first. Who do you want to hear about tonight?”_

_“Murphy!” she shouted, perking up at the chance to pick._

_Clarke laughed. “Alright. Murphy it is.”_

Murphy frowned as he sat up in bed again. He wasn’t sure when he’d drifted off, but he couldn’t have been out for that long. Emori wasn’t back yet. But somehow his brain had found time to concoct another odd dream about Clarke. And this time there was a kid with her. What the fuck did any of this mean?

The door creaked open and Emori slowly made her way inside. She was being quiet, probably thinking Murphy was asleep. She smiled at him when she saw he was still awake.

“You okay?” she asked as she kicked off her shoes.

Murphy nodded. “Yeah. Just had an off day.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nah. I just wanna sleep.”

Emori leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Okay. Good night, John. Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year.”

He watched her as she laid down and settled in to sleep. It wasn’t long before her breathing evened out and Murphy knew she was asleep. He stared up at the ceiling, knowing he wouldn’t be able to go to sleep again. He couldn’t stop thinking about his dream. Why did Clarke keep appearing in his subconscious? And why had he almost sighed in relief at her being okay? Why would he do that if she’s dead?

Murphy’s mind couldn’t shut down as he tried to make sense of this occurrence in his head. He wasn’t sure how he could ever explain these dreams to someone else. And since it had happened more than once it definitely wasn’t just a coincidence. But he knew he’d sound like a lunatic if he tried to bring this up. It certainly wasn’t happening to anyone else, he knew that for sure.

Murphy didn’t like to think a lot about his childhood, but there was something about tonight that brought up an old memory. One of his parents before everything went to shit. They sat him down and told him that they were soulmates. Soulmates were rare, something reserved only for people very special. Nobody knew exactly what bonded certain people, but some people were just destined to be together. And soulmates could always tell because their dreams were connected. But Murphy couldn’t have a soulmate. His parents figured that out when they were way younger than he was. And he wasn’t all that special. Why would the universe choose someone to be destined for him? And if Clarke really were his soulmate, he wouldn’t be having these dreams. For him to be having them must mean—

Clarke was still alive.

Murphy sat up, his heart pounding in his chest. He wasn’t sure what to do with this information. He almost wanted to share it, to tell someone, to give them hope that Clarke had made it after all. She was pretty stubborn so if anyone were to survive Praimfaya, it would be her. But what if he was wrong? What if his imagination was just working over time? He wouldn’t want to get everyone’s hopes up just for them to get back to Earth and for them to find out she did burn alive, after all. He would have to keep this to himself, even if he knew it was going to eat him up inside. But he really had no other choice.

**_________________**

The years went by and Murphy hated the Ring more and more with each passing day. It was only made worse by the fact that they learned they wouldn’t have enough fuel for the return trip, meaning they were stuck until Raven could figure out a way to get them back down to the ground. It was agony, waiting for a day that would likely never come. He was losing faith, and he wanted nothing to do with anybody. Somehow through all of this, one person kept him sane.

Clarke.

Murphy couldn’t really explain it. Once he realized that the dreams might be because Clarke was his soulmate, he welcomed them. They were no longer nightmares, instead something he looked forward to when he went to sleep. He saw glimpses into her life that she’d built for herself, with the small child that she’d found, Madi. He was glad she had someone else. Even if it was still lonely, at least she wasn’t the only person left on Earth. He loved seeing her laugh with Madi and tell her stories, and though there were moments where she was still sad, at least she wasn’t all on her own.

As time passed, he grew a deep affection for Clarke in a way he never would have expected, given their less than stellar history. He found himself thinking about her more often than not. He still hadn’t told anyone about his dreams. He hadn’t found a good way to explain them, and he liked that he had one thing to himself. And it helped him a lot as Emori began spending more time with Raven and the others. She didn’t need him anymore, and in a way he didn’t need her. He felt guilty, but he wasn’t sure who was supposed to feel guilty towards: his girlfriend who he was most definitely neglecting, or his soulmate who was down on Earth and he couldn’t even be with her. It was a less than ideal situation, and without any explanation he began to push Emori away. She would be alright, he knew she would. She was probably better off without him, anyway.

Murphy rarely retreated from his isolated corner of the ship, but he begrudgingly came back to the other side to celebrate New Year’s Eve with the rest of the group. He couldn’t pass up the opportunity to pay tribute to Clarke. It was the thing he liked most about living on the Ring, and now it had become a bit of a private joke to himself, a little secret since he was celebrating her with the knowledge that hopefully one day he would see her again. It also helped that every time Murphy actively thought about Clarke, he would dream about her that night, so he never passed up the opportunity when it was easily presented to him. He wasn’t counting down the days until he’d be able to see her again, because it seemed pointless, given that he didn’t know when that would be. But with each day that went by, something in his chest ached more and more with the hope that he’d be able to see her again soon.

Murphy was just as dumbfounded as everyone else when he volunteered to stay behind on the Eligius ship with Raven. He’d wanted nothing more for the better part of six years to see Clarke again and when he finally got the chance, he stayed behind. What was he thinking? He still didn’t completely know how to explain his actions, but at least Raven wouldn’t be all by herself. He cared about her, and he knew that even if she didn’t say it out loud, she appreciated him being there.

When they checked in with Bellamy, hearing Clarke’s voice over the radio was enough to bring Murphy to tears. His stomach flipped and he let out a sigh of relief as he took the radio from Raven.

“Jeez, and they call me the cockroach,” he said, not even pretending to hide the grin on his face. Even though he knew deep down that Clarke had been alive all this time, finally receiving the confirmation he’d been yearning for made him feel light as air. He was more determined than ever to get back down to the ground. He had to be able to see her for himself.

The next few days were some of the most grueling of Murphy’s life. He and Raven did get down to Earth, but of course they were captured by Eligius prisoners and tortured. He got to meet Madi, and though he knew exactly who she was, he realized they had never actually met, so he had to play it off as though he was clueless. He and Emori almost hooked up. He blamed that on the adrenaline of pulling off a successful con, aching for the old days when things were good between them. They went right back to being upset with each other after McCreary interrupted them. He knew at some point maybe they should have a longer talk. He didn’t want them to just resent each other for the rest of their lives, but there really wasn’t time given the circumstances.

Murphy didn’t know how to describe the way his heart sank when he learned that Clarke left Bellamy for dead in Polis. Or how it ached to hear that she’d betrayed them again to team up with McCreary. He had always assumed things would be different when they got back. How could they be the same when they’d all spent years apart? But he never expected them to be on completely different pages. He was conflicted, wanting to fight for the people he considered his family, but also wanting to stick up for the person he’d fallen in love with over the years. There was no other way to describe the way he felt for Clarke. He had tried his hardest to push the thoughts down, but now that they were back on Earth, once again fighting for their lives, he knew he couldn’t deny it any longer. She was his soulmate and he was in love with her. And the people he loved most wanted nothing to do with her.

Things began to slow down after McCreary was dead. Now that they were all together again and they had plans to rebuild and share the valley, they could all finally take a breath and figure out next steps. Murphy zoned in and out of the conversation. His eyes drifted over to where Clarke was standing next to Bellamy, arms crossed and guarded. He saw Raven shooting daggers at Clarke, clearly not a fan of her being in on the decision making.

All Murphy wanted to do was get Clarke alone so they could talk. He had no clue if she knew anything about soulmates, if she’d been having dreams about him for the past six years too. His stomach was in knots thinking about the impending conversation, unsure how it would go over. He wondered if he could quickly play it off as a joke if she acted like she had no idea what he was talking about. He had no reason to believe that she would magically feel the same way. Even if his dreams were about Clarke’s life on Earth, he still didn’t know this Clarke. Anything could happen, and he was definitely too preoccupied when he should be focusing on the discussion of how they were going to rebuild society.

Once they moved on from vague plans for their first couple of weeks, they began to talk about setting up camp. Clarke immediately took the lead on the conversation.

“I’ve surveyed the area a lot over the years. I’ve made maps that can help us figure out the best area to settle,” she explained. “But in the meantime, we should use the tents and stay nearby.”

Raven snorted. Clarke took a breath, before turning to her.

“Did you have something you wanted to add, Raven?”

Raven shook her head. “No. It’s just amazing to me how quickly we’ve decided you’re the leader again. Who says you get to be in charge?”

“Raven...” Bellamy warned. He was tired, clearly not up for a fight at the moment.

“No, I don’t get it! What gives her the right to be part of these decisions? Especially after what she did to you? How are you just magically over that?”

“Clarke has spent more time on post-Praimfaya Earth than any of us. She’s right, she knows the land. It doesn’t matter what’s happened, we need to hear her out, and we need her help.”

“Well I certainly won’t be taking orders from a traitor,” Raven huffed.

Murphy looked on, almost helpless as Clarke deflated. She’d been through a lot. They all had. It didn’t seem fair that Raven was judging her for things that happened in a moment of panic. Murphy had seen first hand how important Madi was to Clarke. He knew she would do anything for her, and he wished he could figure out a way to explain this to the rest of his friends.

“Look, Raven I’m not asking you to take orders from me,” Clarke continued. “I know I can’t change the past. But I can do better in the future, and I’m trying. I want to do what’s best for all of us, Madi included. We need each other, and we have to work together if we’re going to rebuild and start a new life.”

Raven opened her mouth to say something else, but Murphy cut her off.

“Just leave it, Raven,” he said. He wanted to move on from this conversation.

Raven turned to him, a frown on her face. “Are you serious?”

“It’s the situation we’re in, so we might as well just face it. Bellamy’s right, no matter what’s happened we have to focus on moving forward and Clarke knows the land best.”

Bellamy nodded. “Great. So if we’re done arguing, let’s talk about tents.”

Clarke looked to Murphy for the first time since they’d all gathered, a grateful smile on her face. He smiled back, giving her a small shrug. It was nothing, really. Someone had to stick up for her. Even if Bellamy seemed to be on the path to forgiving Clarke, he was still a bit cold to her. At the moment he seemed to be polite in order to keep the peace and get back to co-leading. This was definitely going to be a process.

The meeting broke up and Murphy stood to head over to where Miller was distributing tents. Before things got contentious, he figured he’d ask Raven if she wanted to share, but after he defended Clarke, she would probably rather share with Emori. He stopped when a hand tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to find Clarke standing before him. This was the moment he’d been waiting for, the chance to speak to her alone after all these years. His heart pounded in his chest now that the moment was here. He almost found himself tongue-tied.

She looked different now, older, her hair coming to just above her shoulders. He couldn’t help but think it was a nice look on her. He could see on her face all the terrors she had gone through, and he wished he could take some of that pain away. He wished things hadn’t been so hard for her. She was supposed to have been with them in space.

“Hey,” she finally said when neither of them spoke.

“Hey,” Murphy answered back, unsure of what else to add.

“Thank you. For sticking up for me back there.”

Murphy snorted. “Clarke Griffin, thanking me? Didn’t think I’d ever hear those words from you again, honestly.”

She chuckled, ducking her head, but that couldn’t completely hide the blush that spread across her cheeks.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“No,” she admitted. “I will be eventually. Just don’t know when.”

“Everything is shit. But what else is new, huh?”

Clarke nodded. “I should probably go check on Madi. She doesn’t go to bed unless someone tells her to.”

“Yeah, yeah. Mom duties. I get it. Even the Commander has an enforced bedtime.”

She chuckled and started to walk out of the ship. She paused and turned back to him before asking, “Would you want to walk with me? I could use some company.”

Murphy couldn’t help the way his stomach flipped. Maybe now was his chance to really have a conversation with Clarke about the dreams. “Yeah, I could use a walk. Nobody wants me around, anyway.”

“I want you around.”

“You do?”

“I wouldn’t have asked you to walk with me if I hadn’t, would I?”

He laughed. “I guess not. Lead the way, Griffin.”

They walked in silence at first, as Clarke led them back towards the house she and Madi resided in. They only passed a few people on the way. It was late, and everyone seemed to want to settle in and have a normal night for once.

“You know I knew things would be different when you guys got back, but I didn’t realize how much would have changed,” Clarke said, breaking the silence.

Murphy nodded. “A lot can happen in six years.”

“I never thought you and Emori would have broken up.”

“I guess it wasn’t something I predicted would happen. Our relationship was kind of doomed long before we actually ended things, though.”

“I’m sorry, Murphy. I know how much she meant to you.”

“It’s alright. I’m okay. Really.”

He felt her eyes on him and turned to look at her. Even in the dark, he could see the concern etched across her face. Murphy smiled, encouraged by the fact that Clarke at least wanted him to be okay. That was a step in the right direction.

“I don’t know what more I need to say to reassure you, but I’m fine. It was a long time coming, we both could’ve done a lot of things differently,” Murphy said resolutely.

Clarke nodded. “Okay. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

They lapsed into silence as they continued their walk. Murphy knew they were nearing Clarke’s house, knew he had to say something before they got there and she had to deal with Madi. But he almost couldn’t bring himself to do it. After all this time stuck with accepting his lot of loving Clarke Griffin and not even knowing for sure if she was alive, now here she was, and he was terrified of saying something. Sure, they were soulmates, but that didn’t always make for a happy ending. He took a breath, knowing it was now or never the closer they got to the house.

“You know, it felt like a long time coming because I was thinking of someone else.”

“You don’t have to say anything else, Murphy, it’s fine,” Clarke reassured him.

“No, I want you to know. Because I was thinking of you.”

Clarke stopped in her tracks, stunned at Murphy’s admission. He could feel his heart pumping, and he thought he might pass out. He’d never been so nervous in his life.

“What are you talking about?” she questioned.

“It had been a couple months since we had gotten to the Ring. And I had a dream about you in the desert. It looked like you were giving up on life and you put a gun to your head. I woke up and I wasn’t sure what I had just seen. But I had this gut feeling that it wasn’t just a weird dream, that you were still alive. And I kept having them. I saw you with Madi, saw you live out your life down here. You were always on my mind while we were up there, Clarke. I don’t think I would’ve gotten through it without you.”

Clarke seemed even more stunned by Murphy’s words, and it didn’t help his nerves in the slightest that she didn’t immediately have anything to say.

“You almost died,” she whispered, almost so Murphy didn’t hear her.

He frowned. That wasn’t the response he was expecting. “What?”

“I had a dream about you. You tried Monty’s first batch of algae and you passed out. When I woke up they were still trying to revive you, so I didn’t know if you were okay. But then a couple weeks later, I dreamt about you again and you seemed fine. I didn’t know what to make of it at first. It seemed weird, I didn’t know why _you_ were the one I was dreaming about. But it was kind of nice. I felt so connected to you.”

“Yeah, me too. And I think I might know why. Has anyone ever talked to you about soulmates?”

Clarke frowned. “As like a vague concept, but nothing really specific.”

“Well my parents were soulmates. I think it added to why my mom resented me so much after my dad got floated. But their dreams were linked. Nobody really knows why, but the first one is always when the other person’s life is in danger. And after that, they just kind of happen until you’re together.”

Murphy felt his whole body tense as he watched Clarke’s reaction to the news. It was fairly measured. She was always logical, so it made sense that she was taking time to process this. It was a lot of information, and he still didn’t really know how she felt about him. He wasn’t even sure he could call Clarke his friend.

“Why us?” she asked as she finally looked him in the eye.

Murphy shrugged. “I don’t really know. Fate has a weird sense of humor, I guess?”

She chuckled at this. “It seems like it.”

“I know it’s a lot to lay on you, but I think we should talk about it a bit more, if you’re up for it.”

“I am,” she assured him. “We’re almost back, and I’m gonna put Madi to bed, but we can sit on the porch and talk for a little while.”

“Okay.”

They continued their walk in silence, something buzzing between the two of them that Murphy couldn’t quite place. He hadn’t felt this way about anyone in a while, and though he wasn’t sure that Clarke actually wanted to be with him yet, even just a conversation seemed like enough for now. But he hoped that they’d be on the same page about what this meant for them.

Murphy waited on the steps while Clarke got Madi situated. He could hear them shuffling around inside, Clarke talking to her daughter in hushed tones as she told her to go to sleep. Through his dreams, Murphy felt connected to Madi in a way, almost as if she had grown up right before his very eyes. She almost had, but he still didn’t really know the kid. That would come in time, he figured. Even if Octavia was her favorite.

Eventually Clarke stepped back outside, closing the front door behind her. She clasped her hands in front of her as she came to sit on the steps next to Murphy. They didn’t say anything at first, just looked up at the stars together. Murphy had missed being able to do that. Sure, he’d been among them, but it didn’t hold the same sense of wonder as it did looking up from the ground. He thought back to his first night on Earth, back when they were all still kids. He had no idea what was in store for him, how hard things would become. He was just excited to breathe something other than recycled air for the first time in his life. And he thought that he’d never seen anything more beautiful.

“So what does this mean for us?” Clarke asked.

Murphy didn’t turn to look at her right away, but kept his eyes trained on the sky. “I’m not sure. It can mean whatever we want it to mean, I guess.”

“Do the others know?”

“I never told them.”

“Not even Emori?”

He shook his head, finally turning to look at her. He was surprised by the soft expression on her face, even though he wasn’t sure what it meant.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing. I’m just a little surprised.”

“I kind of thought they’d think I was crazy for believing you were still alive.”

Clarke nodded. “That makes sense.” She paused before adding, “Why did you move to the other side of the Ring?”

“For a lot of reasons, I guess. For one, I felt kind of useless, and it made me feel like shit that everyone else seemed okay. I mean, even Bellamy stopped moping eventually, and the first few years we were up there he was pretty distraught. Everyone had someone. And I had you, in a way. But you weren’t there with me, so it made things harder.”

He took a gamble and reached out to put his hand on top of hers. Thankfully she welcomed the contact, looking down at their hands briefly before looking him in the eye again.

“All I’ve wanted for the past six years is to see you again,” Murphy said. He had never felt so sure about anything in his life and it was scary, but he was so glad he finally got the chance to say it.

Clarke’s eyes widened at his admission, but he could see the hint of a smile on her face. “You sure have a way with words.”

He chuckled. “I try.”

“I wish things were simpler.”

“They only have to be as hard as we make them.”

“I know. But everyone hates me, and I don’t think that’s going to change overnight.”

“They’re just hurt and confused right now. Most of the time they’re all talking about how much they miss you. Hell, we celebrated you every year while we were up there.”

“You did?”

“We did New Year’s Eve. It was Harper’s idea. She thought doing an old Earth tradition might cheer us all up. And we’d use it to remember you. It was always my favorite day.”

Clarke smiled at him. “That’s cute.”

“They’ll come around. I know they will. I mean, Madi seems like a pretty cool kid from my dreams, so I think eventually they’ll see that and be able to understand where you’re coming from.”

“Thank you, Murphy.”

“Hey, what are soulmates for?”

She laughed, shaking her head at him. They lapsed into silence again. They hadn’t really talked about what this whole thing meant for them, but Murphy could tell they might not get to that tonight. He was exhausted, and he could tell Clarke was too.

“I wanna talk about this more. But maybe tomorrow?” she finally said.

Murphy nodded. “Yeah. That’s probably a good idea. It’s been a long day.”

They stood up, neither of them completely sure what came next. Murphy wasn’t looking forward to walking back to where the others had set up camp. He stretched as he stood, a yawn escaping him.

Clarke turned to him, a sad look in her eyes. A wave of anger hit Murphy as he looked at her, on the brink of tears. She looked so tired, and he was sure it wasn’t just because she needed more sleep. He hated that people were this cruel to her, that they wouldn’t give her a chance to explain. When he became this protective over Clarke or upset on her behalf, he wasn’t sure, but all he knew is he never wanted to be the cause of her pain ever again.

“You don’t have to go,” she said, almost in a whisper.

Murphy frowned, unsure he’d heard her right. “I don’t?”

She shook her head. “You can stay. Only if you want to, though.”

Murphy briefly contemplated this. He could go back to camp with the rest of his group, where they’d question him and make him feel bad for defending Clarke. He’d had enough of that, and honestly, he just wanted to go to sleep without anyone bothering him. And the walk back would be far, especially when he was already asleep on his feet. He finally relented, knowing he’d feel better if he just stayed away from his friends for the night.

“I want to.”

A small smile replaced the thin line on Clarke’s face and it sent warmth to Murphy’s stomach. She turned to go inside, and he followed her in. They walked past Madi’s room. She was fast asleep, completely at peace. Murphy wished he could remember those days, but by the time he was her age he was already locked up. He wondered when the day would come that kids would be able to be kids again. Madi didn’t deserve any of the things that were thrust upon her, much like her adoptive mother. His heart ached again, hoping that she would be able to know real peace one day. Murphy wouldn’t know peace. He didn’t deserve it. But at least Madi still had a chance. That was enough hope to keep Murphy going.

“There’s um... there’s not much space,” Clarke said as she walked them to her room. She stepped further in, near the small bed. It would fit both of them, but it would be a tight squeeze.

“I can just sleep on the floor,” Murphy announced.

“No, it’s not comfortable, it’ll really mess with your back,” Clarke protested.

“I don’t mind. The Ring wasn’t necessarily a beacon of comfort. I’m used to it.”

“You can get in the bed with me, Murphy.”

Murphy’s eyes widened at Clarke’s suggestion. Sure, they’d talked about the whole soulmates thing now, but they hadn’t resolved any of it. What did this mean? Was there a chance she actually wanted him too?

“Are you sure?” he asked. He wanted to give her an out. He really was fine to sleep on the floor.

Clarke nodded. “Just get in.”

“Okay.” Murphy kicked off his shoes and walked over to the other side of the bed. He pulled back the blanket and got in while Clarke did the same on the other side.

They sat in silence for a while, both on their sides so they were facing each other. Murphy didn’t know why his heart was beating so fast. He knew how he felt about Clarke. He’d felt that way for years. But now that he had her again, now that she was really here, things felt so monumental and different.

It wasn’t lost on Murphy that this was the first time he was sharing a bed with someone other than Emori. It felt different, and it was something that he had imagined for a while, but now that it was happening he didn’t know how to feel. Especially since he remembered what occurred when he and Emori were in the woods a week ago. He told Clarke they were over. Would she be upset if she found out about that? He could feel guilt eating away at him, so he knew he had to say something. He braced himself, though for what, he wasn’t sure.

“I kissed Emori,” he finally said, breaking the silence.

Clarke didn’t respond right away. He couldn’t completely see her face in the dark, so he couldn’t even get an idea of what she was thinking. But she probably wouldn’t have betrayed her feelings on her face.

“When?” she asked.

“When we were in the woods trying to take out McCreary.”

“Okay. Why are you telling me this?”

Murphy felt his face heat up. “I don’t know. I guess I felt guilty.”

“It’s not like we’re together, Murphy,” Clarke reminded him.

“I know. But we’re supposed to be.”

His words hit like a two ton brick. He wasn’t sure how she would take them, given their conversation outside earlier. But he had to say it out loud, couldn’t help himself.

“Aren’t we?” he added when she didn’t answer.

“It would seem that’s what fate is telling us,” she finally said.

Murphy sighed. He wasn’t sure this conversation was going well. “It really is over between me and her.”

“I know. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“Are you mad?”

Even in the darkness, Murphy couldn’t mistake the frown on Clarke’s face at his question.

“Do you want me to be mad?”

“No. I don’t want to do anything to hurt you. We’ve all done enough of that already.”

Clarke sniffled in response, and Murphy scooted closer to her, wrapping an arm around her waist as he held her close. He couldn’t shield her from everything, in fact he knew she wouldn’t let him. But he could be there for her, comfort her. She shouldn’t have to be so strong all the time.

“It was really hard being down here,” Clarke said through her tears. “Things got better after I found Madi, but I was still a wreck. I didn’t know when I would see you guys again. And now you’re all back, but everybody hates me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Murphy said, rubbing his hand up and down her back.

“You’re just saying that.”

He pulled away slightly so he could see her face. “Clarke, look at me.”

She looked up at him and he lifted a hand to her face to wipe a few stray tears from her cheek.

“I could never hate you. And I’m not just saying that because you’re my soulmate. We’ve all done shitty things to survive. I get that better than anyone. Hell, we’re kind of similar in that regard.”

Clarke let a small chuckle escape her, but Murphy could tell she was still upset.

“I know that I’m probably not what you pictured in terms of a soulmate. But I care about you, and I know it’s gonna take some time for you to be okay, but I want to be here for you in the meantime. If you’ll let me.”

She nodded. “I’d like that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. And you’re right. If someone had told me I had a soulmate, never in a million years would I have thought it would be you.”

Murphy laughed. He didn’t remember Clarke being funny. Maybe it was a side effect of being a little in love with her.

“But if I have to have a soulmate, I’m glad that you’re mine,” Clarke added.

He smiled, warmth flooding his chest. “I’m glad that you’re mine, too. In case I hadn’t already made that clear.”

She nodded at him and he could’ve sworn he saw her eyes drift to his lips.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” she said, leaning slightly further into his space.

Murphy nodded. “Okay.”

He felt her breath on him as he closed his eyes and she pressed a tentative kiss to his lips. It was a quick peck, just a taste. She pulled away and ducked her head again, almost as if she were embarrassed. Murphy smiled, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek and closing the distance between them again.

Her lips were soft and warm, and Murphy almost couldn’t believe this was finally happening. After dreaming about it for too long, wondering what it would be like, he got to experience it, and it was better than he imagined. She let out a soft moan as he bit her lip, opening her mouth to let his tongue in. He took his time, wanting to remember every sensation he was feeling; excitement, joy, love.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but Clarke tensed as his hand traveled down to the hem of her shirt. Murphy pulled away, breathing heavily as he checked in.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice rough.

Clarke nodded, taking a moment to catch her breath. “I’m fine. But is it alright if we take things slow?”

“Of course. I mean, I’ve waited this long, what’s a bit longer?”

She laughed and shook her head, before leaning in to press another kiss to his lips. When she pulled away she curled into him, letting him hold her. Murphy almost couldn’t believe his luck as he drifted off to sleep, his soulmate in his arms. Even if everything else was shit, at least he had this moment with Clarke. That was all that mattered.

Murphy woke up the next morning from the best sleep he’d had in about six years. He wasn’t sure what time it was, but Clarke was still in his arms. She seemed like an early riser, so it probably wasn’t too late. He watched the steady rise and fall of her breathing, happy that for once she seemed at peace. She stirred and blinked her eyes awake. She looked up at him, a sleepy smile on her face, and Murphy knew his grin looked stupid, but he didn’t care. He was happy, and that was all that mattered.

“Good morning,” Clarke said.

“Good morning,” Murphy answered.

“I don’t think I’ve slept that well in a while.”

“Me neither.”

She smiled, absentmindedly rubbing a hand up and down his arm. Murphy wanted nothing more than to just stay in bed with her, but he knew they’d have to get up eventually. They couldn’t live in this bubble of a moment forever, no matter how much he wanted them to.

“Madi will be up soon,” Clarke continued.

“You probably don’t want her to find me here, do you?”

She gave him an apologetic look. “I know we didn’t really talk about what we’re going to tell people. And I want to tell people. But now doesn’t feel like the right moment.”

Murphy nodded. “I get it. Makes more sense to wait until things are more settled.”

“Yeah. So you get why it would be weird for Madi to find you here, right?”

“I do. I’ll go. Just let me do one more thing first.”

Clarke frowned. “What?”

Murphy leaned in to kiss her again, and she eagerly melted into his touch. It was almost scary how easily they fit together, but Murphy figured that was a part of being soulmates.

“You’re going to make taking it slow very hard, aren’t you?” Clarke laughed.

“Hey, I meant what I said last night. We go at your pace. Whenever you’re ready.”

She gave him one last kiss before shooing him out of the bed. Murphy pulled his boots on before tiptoeing out of Clarke’s house. He turned to see her leaning against the door.

“I guess I’ll see you a little later, then,” he said.

She smiled. “Yeah, see you later.”

He gave her one last wave before heading off into the early morning back to camp with the others. As he replayed the events of last night, he couldn’t fight the smile that worked its way onto his face, and he didn’t mind. Murphy didn’t want to hide that he was happy. He felt better than he had in years, and it was all because of Clarke. He finally had her back, and it was everything he could have ever imagined. He knew it was going to be difficult to keep things a secret until they got things to a semi-normal place, but he’d waited this long. He really could wait a little while longer.

“Where were you?” Bellamy asked as Murphy approached camp.

“I just went for a walk,” Murphy lied.

His friend frowned. “All night?”

“I mean, I wasn’t walking all night. But I just needed to be alone. Is that not allowed?”

“It’s allowed. We just wondered where you were.”

“Well I’m here now. Guess we’d better get started rebuilding society, huh?”

He patted Bellamy on the shoulder and headed off to where everyone seemed to be gathering for breakfast. He got a tray and sat down at a table with Raven, Emori, Monty, and Harper.

“Where have you been?” Raven asked.

Murphy chuckled. “Didn’t realize you were keeping tabs on me, Reyes.”

“Yeah, I keep tabs on you when you’re gone all night and we don’t know where you went.”

“If you’re really dying to know, I went for a walk. Needed to clear my head.”

He looked around the table at his friends to find that they were all giving him a similar look of confusion. They didn’t really buy it, but they also didn’t question it, so Murphy opted to ignore their stares and dug into his breakfast.

“I see that whoever made breakfast didn’t let Monty help,” Murphy said, looking up to smile at Monty. It made everyone laugh. Even Emori cracked a bit of a smile.

Breakfast passed easily as they traded little jokes between each other and just had a moment to themselves without a gigantic problem hanging over their heads for the first time in a while. It almost made Murphy forget why he’d been upset with everyone last night. At one point, Murphy turned to where Bellamy and Echo were sitting in a corner by themselves. They were speaking in hushed tones, and Echo looked a little annoyed at whatever Bellamy was saying, but Bellamy rested a reassuring hand on her leg. Eventually Echo nodded, though she didn’t seem all that thrilled about what was going on.

As people were wrapping up breakfast, Clarke and Madi walked into camp. Murphy’s stomach flipped as Clarke made eye contact with him. They shared a private smile, though Clarke immediately moved her gaze to something else as she and Madi made their way over to the food. Murphy was going to have to work on a more measured reaction when he saw Clarke, especially if they weren’t telling anyone about what they were to each other.

Raven let out a frustrated huff as Clarke left Madi by the food and made her way over to Bellamy and Echo. They exchanged a few words, and Echo nodded at Clarke, before Clarke went back to her daughter.

“I don’t know how Echo does it,” Raven mumbled. “I know she’s still upset about Clarke leaving Bellamy behind to die.”

Murphy felt his jaw clench, but he bit down his anger as he spoke. “Bellamy seems to be moving on just fine. Shouldn’t that be enough for Echo to be able to forgive?”

Raven frowned. “What is up with you? You’ve been acting weird since yesterday.”

“Nothing’s up. I just think that if we’re gonna do better now that we’re back on Earth, that probably starts with us not holding a grudge over something that didn’t even happen to us.”

Raven just rolled her eyes. Maybe she didn’t feel like getting into an argument about this either. “That’s not all this is and you know it, but I don’t want to have this fight with you right now.” She stood up from the table and walked off. The rest of their table was silent, but eventually Emori sighed and got up to follow Raven, seeing as they had to get ready to start the day.

The next few days were miserable, filled with meetings Murphy didn’t want to be a part of, but knew that he’d be annoyed if anyone made decisions without him and he had to live with them. For the most part, Raven was able to keep her disdain for Clarke being back in a leadership role under wraps. Bellamy figured out quickly that if he asked Raven to do something it went over much better than if Clarke said the same thing, even if she was annoyed with both of them. She went about her work begrudgingly, but Murphy knew that at some point things would come to a head.

The moment happened about two weeks into the new order. Everyone was ready to break as a meeting was wrapping up. Each team gave updates on their progress during the week. It was fairly standard procedure. Raven and Monty’s technology and engineering update came last. Monty discussed the progress of the algae on the soil to make it more arable and Raven talked about ways to beef up security and get electricity running through the entire camp. Their update was simple enough, and that should have been it.

“So I guess that’s everything for now,” Bellamy said, clapping his hands together as he dismissed the group.

Everyone got up to leave as Clarke tapped Bellamy on the shoulder and talked to him in a hushed tone. Murphy didn’t miss the way they looked to Raven as they spoke, and it seems Raven didn’t either. Murphy steeled himself, unsure what was going to happen next, but whatever it was, he didn’t think it was going to be good.

“Hey,” Murphy said, touching Raven’s arm. “You good?”

She looked to him, a deep set frown on her face. “Mind your business, Murphy.”

Murphy held his hands up in surrender and stood off to the side of the room where Emori was waiting for Raven. He would leave, but he and Clarke were supposed to hang out tonight, and he said he’d walk with her back to her house. They’d been hanging out every couple of days when everyone was finished with work. He hadn’t stayed over since the first night, since too many people had questioned him on his whereabouts, but they at least got to spend a few hours together. They mostly talked, since they really were taking things slow and actually getting to know each other for the first time, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a fair amount of fooling around. Murphy almost felt like a teenager again, and even though there was still a lot of shit to work out, he was glad that things between him and Clarke were at least okay. It was definitely the right move to wait until everyone else came around to her again, but he hoped that day would come sooner rather than later, because all he wanted to do was be able to be open about what they had.

Emori raised an eyebrow at him as he came to stand next to her. “What are you waiting for?”

He shrugged. “I’ve just got nothing better to do.”

“Raven, can we talk?” Bellamy asked as he and Clarke walked towards Raven.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, arms crossed, almost ready for a fight.

“We were wondering if you had any idea on a timeline for when you’d be finished with those electricity schematics.”

“It’s taking a little longer than I expected. But Emori and I are on it.”

“Are you sure you don’t need another person to help?” Clarke wondered. “I’m sure we could move someone else with experience to your team.”

“Then I’d have to train a whole other person. And that would slow us down even more. This is a system I’m not used to, so it’s taking me a minute to learn it myself.”

Clarke nodded. “Okay. Well you know you can always let us know if you do end up needing help.”

Raven rolled her eyes but nodded. Clarke and Bellamy turned, and Murphy let out a breath, thinking that would be that, but it seemed that Raven didn’t want to let up today.

“You know I could do without the patronizing check-in,” she called after them.

“This isn’t gonna end well,” Murphy mumbled under her breath.

“She’s been on edge all week,” Emori whispered to him. “It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

Clarke turned back to Raven. “I didn’t mean for it to be patronizing, Raven. I really just wanted to make sure you could handle it.”

“Of course I can handle it. I told you it’s covered.”

“Great,” Bellamy said, trying to end the conversation before things got out of hand. “We believe you.”

“We’re in this together,” Clarked added.

“Oh, were we in it together when you left Bellamy to die? Or when you teamed up with a mass murderer?”

“Raven, that’s enough,” Bellamy said.

“No, it’s not. I can’t sit here and act like I’m okay with this when just a couple weeks ago she could’ve gotten us all killed. How are none of the rest of you seeing that?”

“Raven, I don’t expect you to forgive me,” Clarke said. “And I know sorry isn’t gonna cut it. But we were all acting out of desperation, and I did what I thought was right. I made a choice! Maybe it was a bad one, but I made it to protect my child, someone I love and care about. But I still care about you, too, and I hope one day you’ll understand.”

Murphy’s blood boiled, but he had to hold his tongue, at least for the moment. It probably wouldn’t be a good look to defend Clarke right now, not when they still hadn’t told people about being soulmates. But with each passing day it was getting harder and harder to keep it a secret, especially when all he wanted was for his friends, the people he considered his family, to be able to accept Clarke again. It wasn’t fair.

Raven scoffed. “I doubt I’ll ever understand. Not when you’ve consistently made choices that affect all of us without us ever having any say.”

“That’s why we’re making decisions for our new compound together. It shouldn’t all be on one person. That’s not how we do better this time around,” Bellamy said.

“Maybe we start doing better by not allowing people who almost get us all killed in on the decision making.”

Clarke opened her mouth to make a retort, but nothing came out. Murphy could see her deflate and hated that she carried so much burden of all the choices they put on her over the years. He knew it couldn’t be easy. They’d talked about it at length, and he wanted nothing more than to take the pain away from her, to make it so that she didn’t have to bear it all by herself. As hard as he was trying to hold his tongue, as much as he clenched his jaw to keep quiet, he couldn’t anymore. He had to say something.

“I know you’ve been in charge before, Raven,” Murphy said. “And you didn’t ask for it. How would you feel if someone were hanging all your less than stellar decisions over your head for the rest of your life?”

Raven looked to Murphy in disbelief. In fact, everyone left in the room looked to Murphy in disbelief, Clarke included. This wasn’t part of their plan.

“I’ve never done anything as shitty as what Clarke has done,” Raven countered.

“So? We’ve all done fucked up things. Yeah, there were other choices but sometimes there really are no good ones. I mean, you keep forgiving me for all sorts of terrible things. How is this any different?”

“This isn’t your fight, just stay out of it.”

“No! I’ve had it with this argument, it’s fucking ridiculous. Just a couple weeks ago you were thanking Clarke for saving our lives! Or have you forgotten she did that for us? Not everything she does is bad. Hell, we celebrated her life all the damn time on the Ring. It may have been six years ago, and we’ve all changed, but this is still Clarke. And you’re acting like a fucking hypocrite.”

“Murphy, this has nothing to do with you! Why are you so bothered by this?”

“Because she’s my soulmate!” he screamed.

Everyone fell into a stunned silence, Murphy included. He wasn’t expecting to drop that bomb today. He and Clarke had a plan. He’d tell Emori first, and she’d tell Madi. Then they’d tell everyone else. Now he’d spilled the beans with Emori in the room. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.

“What?” Raven asked, breaking the silence.

Murphy turned to Clarke and saw the overwhelmed look on her face. He walked over to her and took her hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He looked to Raven again.

“You heard me. Clarke’s my soulmate. And if you’re able to forgive all of the horrible shit I’ve done in the past, you can forgive her too. I get it might take time, and that’s okay. I’m just asking that you try.”

Raven’s gaze flicked back and forth between Clarke and Murphy. She was clearly speechless.

“How long have you guys known?” Bellamy asked.

“The dreams started six years ago,” Clarke said.

“Murphy, you knew Clarke was alive? And you never said anything?” Bellamy looked hurt and Murphy was surprised that he felt a bit guilty. He never thought of how keeping that secret to himself might make the others feel.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to explain without sounding crazy. And I didn’t want to get your hopes up if I ended up being wrong,” Murphy admitted.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You could say you’re happy for us, and that we’re gonna work to get things back to normal. Or as normal as they can be given the circumstances.”

Bellamy nodded. “I am happy for you. Just a bit shocked.”

“Well we hadn’t planned on telling people this way,” Clarke said, giving Murphy a pointed look.

Murphy felt his face heat up, but he couldn’t say he was sorry that everyone knew now. He wanted it to be out in the open, because he loved Clarke and he wanted everyone to know. But he did feel badly that he didn’t get to tell Emori as planned. He looked over his shoulder and saw her standing behind him, slightly confused, but with a smile on her face.

He gave Clarke’s hand another squeeze before whispering, “I’m gonna need a few minutes before we go on our walk.”

Clarke turned to Emori, then looked back at Murphy and nodded. She understood.

Murphy took a breath before walking towards the door, motioning for Emori to follow him. Their talk was brief, Murphy explaining that he never meant to hurt her and both of them apologizing for their behavior towards each other over the years. They came to the conclusion that they both wanted nothing more than to be friends, and they were on the right track to get back to that. Murphy felt loads better after their conversation and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. They would be okay.

He found Clarke waiting outside for him, leaning against the wall. She smiled as he approached her, which made him feel slightly better about the way things played out. Maybe she wasn’t all that mad.

“I’m sorry,” Murphy said as he neared her. “I know that wasn’t how we wanted to tell people.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m honestly kind of relieved that you broke first. I was afraid I was going to.”

He chuckled, taking her hand in his. He loved being able to do that out in the open, and he was excited that he wouldn’t have to refrain anymore.

“And you sticking up for me?” Clarke continued. “It was kind of sexy to watch.”

Murphy raised an eyebrow. “Really? That’s what does it for you?”

“I mean, I knew you were protective, but it felt good having you be protective of me.”

Murphy smiled, leaning in to kiss her. “Well I know you don’t need me to protect you. But I’m here for you, always.”

“I know. Do you want to come with me to tell Madi? I thought I might do it alone, but I think I’d like you to be there.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

They walked hand-in-hand on the path back to Clarke’s house. The evening hadn’t gone as Murphy had pictured it would, but he was glad that this was the outcome.

**_____________________**

A few more weeks passed, and though things were still stilted between Clarke and some of his friends, Murphy could tell they were all trying. Harper extended the first olive branch when she invited Clarke to sit with them during meals. They were a bit uncomfortable at first, since Harper, Monty, and Emori were the only ones doing any talking. But it made Murphy happy that they wanted to welcome Clarke back into the group, for his sake. If things had gone as planned in the first place, she would’ve been part of their family anyway. But he was glad that they were on her way to accepting her as part of the family again.

Murphy went to Harper with his idea, since he knew she’d be the most receptive. She immediately agreed to help him plan and get the others on board, even if somewhat begrudgingly. If they weren’t going to do it for Clarke, they would at least agree to do it for Murphy. He even got Madi in on the surprise, and she was excited too. Over the years the two of them were on Earth, they didn’t find much reason to celebrate, so she was excited to be a part of a party.

On the day of the surprise, Murphy and Madi led Clarke to the ship. She asked a lot of questions on the way, but they wouldn’t answer them.

“Why are you taking me back to the ship? Is there a meeting I forgot about?” she wondered.

“Not everything is about work, Clarke! Just play along, it’s a surprise,” Madi said, tugging on Clarke’s arm. Murphy chuckled at her excitement. She loved being in on the secret.

“Guys, I’m not really big on surprises.”

“I think you’ll like this one,” Murphy promised.

Murphy and Madi each took one of Clarke’s hands and led her back onto the ship and into one of the unused staterooms. When they arrived, Bellamy, Echo, Emori, Raven, Monty, and Harper were all waiting for them. They’d decorated the place much like they used to decorate the Ring when they had parties, but this time with a few extra things that they didn’t have up there, including some flower garlands to go with their usual paper snowflakes.

Clarke frowned. “What’s all this?”

“You remember how I told you we used to celebrate New Year’s Eve on the Ring?” Murphy asked.

“Yeah?”

“Well, we always used to pay tribute to you, and I figured now that we’ve got you back, you should be a part of the celebration.”

“We missed you while we were up there, and we’re glad to have you back,” Harper said.

“All of us,” Raven added with a nod.

Murphy searched Clarke’s face for some sort of tell as she scanned the room. He wanted her to like it, and he honestly thought she would, but he couldn’t read her in this moment.

She turned to look at him. “You did all this for me?”

Murphy shrugged. “I mean, I had a lot of help. But I just wanted you to know how important you were to us up there. And how important you are to all of us now.”

Clarke smiled, tears welling in her eyes and she wrapped her arms around Murphy in a hug. She pressed a kiss to his cheek before pulling away.

“Thank you,” she said. “This is really nice.”

“You’re welcome. Now let’s enjoy the party, shall we?”

Bellamy poured Clarke a drink and they filled her in on all the things they would do on their New Year’s Eve parties. They shared happy stories from their time on the Ring and took more time to get to know Madi. Even Raven was able to exchange a few courteous words with Clarke. Murphy was glued to Clarke’s side the entire night, happy that for once everyone was getting along.

“Thirty seconds to midnight!” Harper announced, as was tradition.

Murphy turned to Clarke, noticing her slight look of confusion. He laughed at her face, taking her hands in his before whispering to her, “Couples normally kiss at midnight.”

She frowned at him. “Why?”

“I don’t know, really. But it’s fun.”

“Fun is a bit of a foreign concept to me.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

Clarke scowled at him and Murphy couldn’t help but chuckle at her expression. It was in that moment that he was struck by how in love with her he was. He’d known for years how he felt, but he hadn’t spent all that much time thinking about it. It wasn’t as fun to dwell on when she wasn’t there. But now that she was here beside him, he knew he might burst if he didn’t tell her.

“I love you,” he said.

Clarke’s eyes widened, but a smile spread across her face at his words. “I love you, too.”

Murphy grinned, his heart full as he and Clarke smiled at each other. For a brief moment it felt like they were the only two people in the room, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

He was broken out of his trance by Harper starting the countdown.

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6…”

Murphy waggled his eyebrows at Clarke, causing her to laugh. He loved that he could make her giggle and that they could have fun together. He loved her.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!”

Murphy leaned in to press a kiss to Clarke’s lips. It was soft and quick, with other people in the room, but there was the promise of something more for later.

“Happy New Year, Murphy,” Clarke mumbled against his lips before she pulled away.

“Happy New Year, Clarke,” he answered.

Murphy never would have expected to have a soulmate. And he never would have expected it to be Clarke Griffin, of all people. But from the moment he had that first dream and knew somehow they were connected, he didn’t mind in the slightest that it was her. Nothing in his life had ever been normal, so it made sense that his soulmate story would match that. All that mattered was that he had Clarke, and for the first time in a long time he was completely happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! Let me know what you think.
> 
> Special thanks to the Chopped peeps as always for hosting this event! I always have so much fun participating, and don't forget to check out the other festive gifts in this collection!
> 
> If you wanna shout with me, you can always come find me on [Tumblr](https://queenemori.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/queen_emori).


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